update

Happy Twenteen'th Birthday to me!

depression strikes.

Time:
Philippines: 3:15am
Paris, France: 9:15pm
London, United Kingdom: 8:15pm
Berne, Switzerland: 9:15pm

Well I don’t want to talk about the title, honestly.

I just want it to be there. So that will know what I’m experiencing right now. I’m so cast-down and sort of pissed-off with my partner. I wanted to focus on other things and dont mind it much yet people, situation, and personal commitments boggle my mind.

Nah.. so much for it.
Even my art was affected and was influenced by this crazy emotion.

Earlier while cleaning the dishes, accidentally one of the plates slipped off. So I put the plate in the plastic trash in front of our sink. But then as I continue on what I’m doing my hand swings back to the plastic trash and my hand got injured by the broken plate.

It lacerated my skin and almost exactly on my hand nerve. My sister said that I’m like going to faint because I cried like a child for the reason that I saw too much blood rushing down my hand. Lucky, I was able to manage my emotion. (I hope I can also manage this depression.)

My mother cleaned and put an alcohol and beta-dine then after a band-aid. For me one way of expressing my emotion is through photo editing and here's the result, entitled Lifeless. You can rate it anyways. (scale from 1-10) Just for nothing. Opps! No! for improvements. ϋ



Waah! So much for it. I don't want to cry anymore. Enough is enough.

With regards to him I know sooner or later we can settle everything. BUT think not now.


So random? Oh! I wish I could run and escape from this crazy world. ö





^Depression is a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity.
(credits to: http://ardictionary.com)

childlike thoughts..

Location: Bedroom
Time: 1:10am

Yey! Eight days before my birthday.

I remember when my boyfriend asked my plan for this coming event, I just answered “I have more than one month to think about it” but that’s already in the 2nd week of September. He laughed at me and said “It’s already September, not August” and burst I in giggling that I almost forgot my own birthday.

Well, I think it’s because of my lazy-busy-sloppy-schedule. I wasn’t able to check the coming event in my life: The-Start-of-My-NO-More-TEEN-Years. Yes! I’m turning 20 this October 7.

A bit sad for my numerical age.
Happy for the past 19 years’ good life.
And excited for more experience.

I can’t say that I could not ask for more. There are so many things that I want to have and achieve.

I love possessing new things.

I want a new cellphone. (The one with a TV)
I want a new laptop, or even a notebook.
I want a SLR Camera. (Canon please) etc.

Those are only few things that I’m craving to have, but now I can’t still have. First, is because I’m yet earning my own money and secondly, I don’t want to add burden to my family just to give my luxury. . I need to be contented on what I have now.

So just for my coming birthday I’m planning to give myself a REWARD for I passed one struggling year.

• Either the Vanilla Scent Victoria Secret Perfume for my Bath and Body Works and VS perfume is more likely to be empty next month.

• Or buy new corporate tees and blouse or even a dress for other coming events.

• Or even buy havs’ slippers to treat my feet.

• Oh, Paulo Coelho book will also do.

Small things that can make me smile. ϋ

However, as number of our age grows our way of thinking also develops. One thing for sure that can really makes me smile on birthday is my family, boyfriend and close friends.

Just sitting and eating with them on the day of my birth will be the best gift for me.

No material things.
No money.
Just their presence.





^countdown..

transformation

Location: Bedroom
Time: 3:46am

My bestfriend or should I say friend asked me to edit and fix his blog. After I finished it, I’m still not in the mood to do anything for school so I prefer to change my layout too. It’s been a long time since I edit it.

I always have the black and sad color background for my blog, so now I transformed it into something more lightly. Yes, the opposite of black. I tried the color WHITE which I don’t usually use for my backgrounds. I dunno why I picked this color from the palette but I think this is the right time to try something new.

I even alter my favorite picture for my template. Well trying something new for some time is cool and a bit interesting for it may reflect something in you.

Before I always use black for the fact that I always look at my life on its darkest side.

I’m absolutely an optimistic person but I can’t help to think that my life really sucks and so pathetic. Maybe that’s the very reason why I end-up loving the color black.

But now things change as well as my perceptions.
There’s more to LIFE. ϋ

For my old template: Bye bye!




^So what else can you suggest for my blog? ϋ